Blog Smog, My Drama

I have abandoned my site!!

2005-11-11T19:13:00.000-05:00

Well as you can see, I sort of abandoned my blog. I got laid off at my job where I spent most of my day being completely bored out of my mind, so I wrote. But since I got laid off, I was pretty busy looking for a job and then getting one and this job is great and the best part is I am NEVER bored. It hasn't left me time to write though.

So things are going great!! In my new job I am an IT Manager-finally doing what I have a degree in. Yeah!! I guess all the years were not wasted at college after all. I am also the Website Administrator. So between the 2 jobs, I am very busy, and the pay is amazing. I am making double what I have ever made before. So needless to say the career is taking off and I am extremely happy at work now. I was so miserable at my other job, the lay off was a blessing in disguise. I was worried about not being able to pay the bills, but with unemployment I was ok. God took care of me and it looks as if he had better plans for me than I knew at the time. Always have faith.

As for Dwight and I, we just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. No complaints over here. We have been getting along great. We bicker sometimes, but no huge fights in awhile. I love him more with each passing day. I cannot believe I spent so many years in a loveless marriage when this is what real love feels like. I am so proud and lucky to have him in my life.

Well I wanted to keep everyone updated, I will make a strong effort to keep this thing up to date. I love writing and it is more of a hobby for me than anything else.

I have lots of drama to write about so stay tuned!!

7/26/05

2005-07-26T10:03:00.000-04:00

Well not much going on around here. Work is boring as always. I am so lucky to get paid to do practically nothing. It sucks sometimes because the time just drags on. But at least I'm sitting here in the ac and not out in that 105 degree heat. My God it sucks out there. I am so hungry right now. I really need to go get something to eat.

I just changed my insurance premiums. My renewal is 8/3/05 and the first of 3 payments was 724.50. Yeah right!!!!!!! I'm not paying that!!! I can't pay that. I have bills and just don't have it. So I canceled some coverage for now and got it down to 650 for 6 months. It is the bare minimum but it will have to do until I can afford to bump it back up. I still may not be able to come up with that and have to let it lapse for a week or 2. I can ride my motorcycle instead, that is covered. 375 for an entire year. Now that is what I'm talking about.

My x-husband owes me over 6,000 in child support. He has been out of work for 2 years due to a work-related accident. He had his final doctor appointment 5 weeks ago and told me he was getting a settlement from the workman's comp insurance company for 2 years salary and he would get caught up. The insurance company told him it would take about 6 weeks after his appointment. So hopefully everything works out as planned and I get this money. If so, I will go ahead and bump my insurance coverages up right away and pay down some debt. I don't really have much. A home depot card with a 1500 balance. 2 credit cards with balances around 250, and that's about it. I have school loans-but those will wait-they are down to 20,000. They will be around for awhile. I also want to get a new exhaust and tires for my bike. The rest goes in my ING account to earn 3% interest and to sit so I don't spend it.

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that it actually ends up in my hands as promised.

Well, I have been trying to get a bike club together for anyone in this quad-state area of PA, DE , NJ, and MD. I got about 6 people interested so far. Men and women. So hopefully we can all get together for a ride. I'm looking forward to riding with others. It is usually just me or Dwight and I. He is so experienced that he sort of intimates me when we are out. It isn't intentional but that is the way I feel sometimes.

I passed the MSF this weekend, so I feel more confident. I did really well.

Talk later, need a cigarette.

I got a comment

2005-07-20T08:47:00.000-04:00

Girl, after reading some of your blogs about your b/f, you need to sit down with yourself and ask yourself some Serious questions! This guy just doesn't sound like he is the right one for you. It seems the relationship is unbalanced and that you are the one carrying it. Do you want to be remarried? Life is too short to spend with someone who doesn't feel the same about you..trust me..I got rid of someone like that once in my life, it was for 3 years going off and on...was the best thing I have done for myself ;-)

From Speedgrl.

Now I'm not sure if I know this person or not, but I thought I needed to clarify things.

As I was reading over my blog after getting this email I realized I do paint a pretty grim picture of my boyfriend. What you have to understand is that you are only getting one side of it. You are hearing my rantings and ravings and I don't write about my praises. That is entirely my fault. He is a great guy, who treats me well and I cannot see being with anyone else. He is the love of my life. The parts you are hearing are our fights and nothing else, so yeah it sounds like a nightmare. But we have way more good days than bad. Alot of our issues have to do with our personailties being so alike, we both want the last word, we both are completely independant, we both want and need our own space, and we both think we are right all the time, and we are both very stubborn.

After that really long email I wrote him, we did sit down and talk. We realized that we are "in a way" playing games with each other. When I feel he isn't emotionally there, then I pull away, so then he does and then I do, and it just spirals out of control and we got to the point that he thought I didn't love him or wasn't happy and he thought I didn't want him anymore. And I felt the complete opposite. Again, this all happened because we are so much alike and both responded to the situation exactly the same way. He told me he was very hurt by the email and felt horrible. Things are much better now. He and I are making much more of an effort to spend time together and not play games and communicate our feelings, we now tell each other we love each other every day.

It came down to both of us not wanting to be vulnerable, but we realized that it is just hurting the other person by being so closed, so we are working on opening up. This really has nothing to do with the other person, it is sort of a personal struggle we are both going thru at the same time, luckily we have each other to do it with and we understand each other.

Now don't get me wrong, he knows he isn't a very good boyfriend(romantic and thoughtful), he can admit it(and is making great strides in improving), but I love him in spite of that and accept him for his faults, as he accepts me for mine. THAT my friends is TRUE love.

So speedgrl and you other readers out there, thanks for your comments they are greatly appreciated, but things are ok, I promise.

7/19/05

2005-07-19T15:06:00.000-04:00

Well I went out on my first ride Sunday evening. Dwight and I both went. I felt nervous and asked him to come along. He was reluctant, but came and said I did good when we got back. I felt very comfortable out there. I had fun. I still haven't gotten my bike titled or registered because I have to ride it to the DMV so they can verify the VIN#. So I have been waiting until I felt comfortable. I am riding tomorrow to work because it is National Ride to Work Day, plus the DMV is open late on Wednesdays, so it works perfectly. I'll get the bike taken care of and I get to ride to work. Yeah!!!

That brings me to the conversation I had today with Dwight. He calls me and is like:
I don't think you should ride to work tomorrow and he proceeds to put me down and then I got defensive and it got nasty. I called him back and expressed that I didn't appeciate any of it. He appologized. I just wished he would be much more supportive.

Sometimes when he was giving me a lesson, I felt like he was a drill sargent. He wasn't the most patient teacher, that's for sure.

All in all today he just sucked the confidence out of me, made me feel like shit and make me second guess myself. Which sucked because he is my boyfriend and I expect the opposite from him. I expect him to support me, no matter if he agrees or not!!!

So anyway, I'm riding to work tomorrow regardless- I have to get the bike inspected. It has been over a month-I can't put it off any longer.

So here is to getting to work alive tomorrow!!

It's been rough

2005-07-15T07:46:00.000-04:00

So I haven't posted in a while. Life has been hectic. I have been spending my free time learning to ride my motorcycle. I am doing pretty good. I rode by myself yesterday. I think I did well. I only rode around Dwight's development and probably only went up to 40 miles per hour and 4th gear, but it's the slowing and stopping that confuses me sometimes. I have no problem getting her going. I fell pretty good turning too.

I have been reading a lot of motorcycle forums and it seems that a lot of people drop their bikes on turns when they first start riding. I can see how this happens, but I've been ok so far. I guess this is why Dwight kept making me do figure 8's in the parking lot. He said that turning was the most important aspect of riding. If you can't do it well and do it right, you will crash. His development has a lot of twisting roads and I took all of them really well. It's all about the lean and the correct speed.

In other news, my dog died on Monday night. We had to put her to sleep. I didn't realize I loved that dog so much until I got the call that the vet said she had to be put down. I cried. It may sound silly, until it happens to you.

She was about 11 years old, a German Sheppard, her name was Cricket (when she slept she made noises like a cricket). This was literally the smartest dog I have ever known. You didn't have to use "dog commands" to her, just regular language like she was a person. For example: You would give her a dog biscuit. So after she has it, you could say: Cricket eat that outside please. She would let herself out and eat the bone outside and then let herself back in. She was amazing and I will miss her so much.

In other news, last Thursday the police showed up at my house and had a search warrant. They search my house and took my computer and all my computer cd's and some financial documents. I still have no idea what is going on. I have done nothing wrong and cannot figure out what this is all about. I have had my identity stolen twice now after a house robbery and after my wallet was stolen from my purse. I am asumming this has to be connected to that. This really sucks. I am terrified. I have never had to deal with cops and shit like this. It pisses me off in a way and in a way if terrifies me.

So after dealing with all this you can see why I have been neglectful. I'm sorry.

Dwight and I

2005-06-23T12:51:00.000-04:00

This is the email I just sent Dwight: I'll explain later:

I don’t even know where to begin, I have some many thought in my head right now. So many feelings.

I guess, the biggest one that keeps surfacing is the fact that this whole thing hasn’t just effected me emotional but physically as well. I feel very ill today, my body is shaking, my stomach is in knots, I have a headache, my face is swollen for crying for 5 hours, and I feel worn out, just completely distraught.

I guess that most overwhelming emotions I have right now are devastation, betrayal, and an overwhelming loss of trust. I fell overwhelmingly sad, like I could break into tears at any moment.

Some of the thoughts that are swirling in my head are:
I guess he is right, I do hold back my feelings from him, never from myself, but from him because he doesn’t feel the same way and I’m not the one who is going to be vulnerable.

It sucks to love someone more than they love you and I’m not going to be that person, or I am that person, but he doesn’t need to know that.

He has tried to break up a couple times before, can I really trust him with my love? How can I trust that he will appreciate my love and give it back, the way I deserve?

I don’t have a bad attitude, yes, I have been in a bad mood before but I am usually in a good mood. Caitlyn does put me in a bad mood, and the loneliness makes me sad sometimes, but bad attitude, I don’t think so. Why can’t he be supportive when I’m like this and talk to me, instead of taking it personally.

After last night, I feel like my loyalty and commitment have been spit on. I am always the one who has been completely committed to this relationship, yet I feel like it is not appreciated, I’ve been accused of cheating-he even looked at my cell phone!!!!!!!! He is the one who makes me insecure by not calling and always being busy with other things, and never takes me out or wants to spend time together.

He talks about Joe and the way he is with Star and it makes me think that he doesn’t want me to be like that and so I back off and allow him his space. I don’t want to smother him. So I give him plenty of space. I don’t want it this way, but I thought by the way he talks about other people, that he wanted it like this.

I thought he liked it like this, considering he can make time to go out with his friends, but can’t make time to go out with me, I figured he wasn’t interested in spending time together. It has hurt me every time he does make time for everyone else but me, and I guess this is another reason I pull away, it is what I think he wants. And he has never told me differently.
He has always made it clear we were never going to get married and to me that means he isn’t interested in making a real commitment to me, which weighs on my mind a lot. I mean it is not like I want to get married any time soon, but when someone tells you, they will never get married to you, it hurts and it makes it seems like he thinks you are not good enough for him and that he is waiting for something better to come along. So I guess, I make him think that I feel the same way, because I don’t want to look like an idiot.

I’m not going to be the one who puts herself out there to be laughed at or mocked or taken advantage of. My love and feelings are to be cherished and he can’t appreciate them, so why should I show them to him?

I mean yeah, I guess I have a wall up, but so does he. His wall is huge. Mine would crumble in a second if I had some reciprocation. His will never come down. He will never fully, truly love me the way a man is suppose to love a women. This I have told him so many times.

He says he loves me, but how can I believe him? He doesn’t show it or say it? He tells me to fuck myself, and accuses me of cheating, and he never takes me out or does anything special for me.

I have a lot to work on, but he has a lot too. I have no idea how this man feels about me. NO IDEA!!! If his actions speak for themselves, I would say he doesn’t care if we broke up today, he would probably me relieved to get me out of his life. He doesn’t like the person I am and doesn’t like the clothes I wear or my body. He tells me to tone up and exercise all the time, he criticizes my clothes constantly and told me I have a bad attitude. So if he is so unhappy with the person I am, what is he doing with me?

This question is the most bothersome, and most hurtful and it is very hard to get past this one, it makes me sad, very very sad.

I have told him on many occasions that he is the love of my life and I get nothing in return, not even a I love you too. I’m just so tired of putting myself out there and constantly getting rejected. After a while, you stop hurting yourself and keep things to yourself. I reached this point a few months ago.

I am so proud of my man, I have pictures all over my desk at work, on my website and I always talk about him and I know I am not looked at in that same light. He literally is the light of my life and I know he doesn’t feel like that about me, so tell me, why on earth would I continue hurting myself by showing my love when I can hold everything in-- the hurt and the love. When your love isn’t returned it is hard to give it out again.

This is the damage that was made last night. Once again, he wasn’t committed in this relationship and shattered the trust. In order to be vulnerable and show your inner most feeling and thoughts, you have to love that person. I do not trust Dwight after last night. He wanted (and probably still does) want to walk away from this. This signifies a lack of love and commitment. I cannot put my love and trust into someone who has turned their back on me time and time again. Doesn’t he realize this only hurts us, not helps us? How am I suppose to give my all to someone who turns their back on me at the drop of a dime???? How am I suppose to give my all to someone who refuses to give his all to me????

6/23/05

2005-06-23T08:28:00.000-04:00

My gear:

I hope everything gets here soon. Everything but the jacket is paid for, I am paying for it tomorrow when I get paid. The gloves are fedex and suspose to be here Tuesday, the boots should be here by early next week too. I have the helmet already, and hopefully the jacket gets here by the end of next week. I am most excited about the jacket, can't wait to try it on.

Well otherwise, so much happened between Dwight and I that I haven't fully processed it. I am going to try to get all my feelings down on paper today and I'll share later.

6/22/05

2005-06-22T15:51:00.000-04:00

Well it's hump day. I hate Wednesdays, not sure why, but I do. I spent all day upgrading my computer here at work. I have a dinosaur compared to my new $1500.00 Dell at home. This one is a 300 MHz Gateway. I found some 128 Dimms in some old computers allowing me to go up to 256 RAM and upgrade to Windows XP. YEAH!!!!

This thing was so slow and now I'm soaring. So after the upgrade I couldn't log onto the server and I figured that out 2 hours later, and now I'm all set. I haven't been able to use my printer for 3 months and that works again too. I love Windows XP!!!!!!!!

It used to take about 4 minutes after I clicked the Internet Explorer icon for the window to come up, and when it did it was like having dial up. Now things are so fast. I am so happy, and so is my boss because I saved him like $1000.

So anyway, I bought some brand new black Timberland boots on ebay and a black Teknic leather jacket and I got some Icon yellow/black gloves and a yellow boot sox, and some yellow flame helmet decals and I ordered my fender eliminator kit. So I think I am officially all set!!!!!! I have ordered all my gear and I just have to wait for it to get here.

I want leather pants but Dwight isn't too happy about that, he thinks I will look to sexy in them. He doesn't like me to dress sexy. He always has a fit when my pants are too tight. I have what you would call a JLO ass, probably a little bigger and rounder but I only weight 120. It is Dwight favorite feature and he hates when I wear clothes that makes the bootie look real good. He thinks everyone looks at it. They do, but that should be flattering, shouldn't it? He never cares about my shirts, his issue is always with my lower half. So I told him I will make sure the pants are motorcycle leathers, because they are more functional than flattering. I'm not the kind of person who will allow a man to tell her how to dress, but I do love him and respect him enough to take his feelings into consideration. So I am trying to respect him and hopefully I can find something we are both happy with.

School is out of Friday, and then they go to Camp. That sucks because camp is farthur then school and now I will have a long more annoying commute in the am and pm, but it is only for about 7 weeks, because school started Aug 15. Kindergarten grauduation is Friday so I have a half day. I will come in after the ceremony.

That about catches us up!!!!

Bought my motorcycle!!!!!

2005-06-20T09:50:00.000-04:00

Isn't she pretty!!!

So here is the story. I bid on her and was outbid. The winner renegged on his purchase so I ws offered the bike. I offered the seller 2000.00 and he countered with 2100 and he will include a helmet, tank bag and gloves. So I went to check out the bike and bought it. The helmet fit perfectly. It is a size small and it has a front hinged chin. These are so cool and very expensive. The tank bag is also cool it is bright yellow and black and looks great. The gloves are a little worn and don't fit at all so those are a wash.

So we went on Sunday and picked it up, Dwight rode it home, about 1 hour.

Thats the great news, the bad news is that Dwight was a bitch all day. He went out the night before and got back really late and I woke him at 9:30am. When he told me to. He woke up in a very fowl mood. Really crabby, bitching, complaining, criticizing and just plain rotten. So I tried to stay as quiet as possible, as to not instigate him. Then as soon as we got to the guys house to buy the bike, his mood seemed to improve and when we got home he seemed to still be in a better mood. He gave me my first motorcycle lesson and we headed back over to my house. We laid down and watched some tv, before taking a nap. Then he woke up in a nasty mood again. He asks me about dinner and I am like I don't know. And they we come to the conclusion that I am not cooking since it is 7pm and we will do take out or something. So then he asks me again about dinner. I still don't know I told him to make a decision. It is fathers day, he gets to choose what he wants, not me. Well this isn't the answer he wanted and just leaves. So whatever, he has been crabby all day, until he got around that motorcycle. As soon as he wasn't he got crabby again.

I see it like this, it was fathers day, he needed to decide what he wanted for dinner. I wouldn't want him to decide for me on mothers day. Not to mention I didn't get anything for mothers day. Just an arguement. And he didn't call all day. He basically ruined my mothers day. I wanted to buy him dinner and do what he wanted, but I wasn't going to tell him chinese if he wanted ribs. He can never make a decision when it comes to stuff like this, he always puts it on me, he does it with movies, eating and anything that needs a decision. Well this time it wasn;t my place to make that decision. I was down for whatever he choose but instead of making a decision he got mad that I didn't make one and stormed out of the house like a 13 year old who didn't get his way.

Get over it!!!!!! IF i'M AT FAULT YOUR MORE AT FAULT

6/17/05

2005-06-17T12:51:00.000-04:00

Well Thank God it is Friday. This day will never end though. I have lunch for an hour and then I have to stay till 5. All the bosses are playing golf. I am so bummed and bored. I almost had 3 motorcycles and they all fell through.

1st one was a 2001 red and black 250 with 4k miles and upgrades for 1600, 3.5 hours away.

2nd one was a 2003 blue and yellow with 4.5 k miles and upgrades for 2100, 5 hours away

3rd was a 2004 yellow with 1.5k miles for 2300, only 1 hour away

1st one-he sold it-I was second in line.
2nd one-with the price and travel fees and truck rental to get it-it is more than I want to spend.
3rd one-was on ebay. I bid 2250 but was outbid. I wouldn't go any higher.

So now I'm down to the 2001 red and black with 9k miles and 1 hour away. He will deliver the bike. I have an appointment to go see the bike on sunday. I put a bid of 1600 on it and will go up to 1900 I think. I hope it doesn't go any higher. It is at 1525 right now. The auction doesn't end until wednesday.

I was hoping to to get one this weekend. This is getting frustrating!!!!!!!

Terry Schiavo

2005-06-16T09:09:00.000-04:00

So Terry Schiavo's husband was right all along and it was worse than everyone thought. She was also blind. He brain weighed half that of a normal human. It is so sad, but if her wishes were to not live like that, then she shouldn't have to. I can't believe her parents are refusing to believe the autoposy reports. The newspaper said, her parents will be getting their own doctors to look at the data. I just can't believe that. I thought for sure that once the results were made public, that they would be able to accept it and move on, but apparently they are still fighting. For what? She can't come back. Why are they still fighting the truth as they have been all along. Why can't they just admit they were wrong about the severity of her condition?

Because of all of the craziness I made up a living will and stated I do NOT want to be kept alive in a situation like Terry's. I would much rather go meet my maker and enjoy heaven then live a life like that. She wasn't living, she was breathing, she wasn't thinking, feeling or seeing anything.

I feel bad for her family, but I also feel bad for her husband who had to fight so hard to follow her wishes. Knowing he was doing the right thing the whole time, and having his name dragged thru the mud with specuation of murder, infidelity, abuse and everything else imaginable. The autoposy found no evidence of abuse, stragulation, or an eating disorder. I think the Schindler family owes him a whooper of an apology. He felt like he was doing the right thing for his wife; what she wanted. He didn't cheat on her when she was well and started this battle a long time before he started seeing someone else. He started the battle when he exausted all other treatments and doctors and they all agreed she would not improve. He started this battle long ago for her not for himself, and it pisses me off that the media keeps putting a negative spin on his story. If you look at the time line of events, you will also see. But the media doen't want you to see that side of the story, because it is more interesting to believe their made up lies.

Well the whole this is tragic and sad, for all parties involved, but the american public acts like this doesn't happen everyday. Well it does. My fathers family had to decide to pull the plug on my grandfather who was on a ventilator. He didn't make the headlines.

It did make everyone aware the living wills are necessary, and that was good. I also made out the last Will and Testament. So I am covered if I die or don't. My family knows exactly what I want, and they know that no matter how hard it is to let me go, they will do it. I have their word.

I have lots of peace knowing that Terry is up in heaven, a perfect angel, like she was when she was 26, free of pain and suffering and happy. Why can't that be enough for her parents? Why would they choose otherwise for their daughter? If they wanted to trully protect her, they would have sent her to God a long time ago, to me they have very selfish motives, it wasn't about her, it was about them and their loss.

Just my opinion, we all have our own views, I appreciate your comments, but don't get nasty, I am openminded, please do the same.

6/15/05

2005-06-15T15:44:00.000-04:00

Well I talked to an old friend today. She was my maid of honor in my wedding and one of my best friends in school, we had a group of us and we all were really tight. She called my mom a few days ago to tell me about our 10 year high school reunion. I called her immediately. I have been waiting for this reunion. I can't wait. I am very excited. I miss everyone so much. It is hard living here, because I can't bump into anyone or stop by and hang out. So we talked for like an hour and caught up on everything. I am so glad she is doing well and she sounds happy.

Congratulations to her, she is expecting a baby soon. She is 5 months pregnant.

Well I hope to stop by and see her when I go to Lancaster for the concert July 2nd. Hopefully we can have lunch together or something.

Everyone one else seems to have drifted apart, except Shannon, who seems to be doing well also.

Well anyway, thats seems to be all the news for now, still hunting ebay down for my motorcycle. I will be buying one before the month ends. I guarantee it.

6/13/05

2005-06-13T15:45:00.000-04:00

So I do not think I mentioned that I want to buy a motorcycle. I finally found the one I want. And I always get what I want. First, it is a Kawasaki Ninja, a 250 R. Yes it is small, but I am 5'1" and weigh 125 pounds. So I need a small bike. Plus it is not like I want to go crazy on it. Just have some fun. And they are incredible at keeping there value, so I can sell it in a few years and get a 500 if I want-if I will fit. Plus it is a great bike to learn on and I can get a used 2003 for $2000 or a brand new one for $3000. Very much in my price range. So I am set and in love with my soon to be my new bike. I have been on ebay everyday checking them out and have become addicted. I don't have all the funds right now, but I am working on it.

So I just found out that the verdict is in in the Michael Jackson trial. It will be announced at 4:00pm. Lord this is exciting, I want him to be found guilty, but for some reason I think he will get off, just like OJ and Robert Blake. Can't wait!!!

Sesame Place on Friday SUCKED!!! It kept raining on and off all day long. We spent half of the day running and hiding from the rain. But when it wasn't raining we had fun on the water slides.
The water slides were a blast!!!

Dwight spent the night Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday. His ac was broken so he hung out at my place, considering I keep the ac at 68 degrees. The kids went to church on sunday till about 5. So that was a nice break I needed that, considering there deadbeat dad is in rehab again. He called while we were at sesame place to tell me. Great!!! (sarcastic)

He is such a bum!!! This is his third round in rehab. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm tired of what he puts these kids thru.

Well that seems to be all the drama, I'm sure I will be writting about Michael Jackson tomorrow.

Terrified to move in with Dwight

2005-06-08T11:33:00.000-04:00

I forgot how the conversation started but Dwight made a comment about me giving him cash when I live there. Then it goes like this:

Me:I'm not giving you cash when I live there
Him: What? Why not? You can't live here for free?
Me: I don't expect to, but I'm not handing you cash either?
Him: Hmmm?
Me: I'll pay all the bills and buy groceries or something, but I am not handing you cash.
Him: what is the difference?
Me: there is a huge difference, first it will make me feel like I am paying rent or something, instead on contributing to our household, and it will make me feel completely out of control. it will make me feel like i'm just some kind of roomate.
him:well you kinda are, I mean we are not married.
me: how rude!! no we aren't married and won't be but i'm definately not a roomate, you can kick out your roomate and evict him-your not evicting me!!!!! We aren't married, but we will be partners if we are going to live together.

So then we get into the whole logistics of everything, what bills and how much and grocieries and shit. He kept insinuating that my portion wouldn't compare to his portion. He has a 900.00 mortgage payment and thats it. I would pay everything else. I think he is getting off easy. So after all the back and forth we decided to sit down with all of our bills and write it out and come to an equal agreement. I bring home 605.00 each week after all of my deductions and I know his paychecks are like 1000 every 2 weeks after all of his deductions. so I am pretty sure we can work it out. I have to get my list together. Besides that we have a lot more to discuss.

I just found out that he has never lived with a women before. He is 34 years old and has had girlfriends but says he never loved anyone like he loves me and he hasn't loved anyone in a real long time. So in a way that makes me feel very special. I have tried to break up with him twice and he has begged for my forgivness and won't let me go, which was very surprising because I thought he wasn't feeling that strongly for me, and that isn't in his nature.

On the other hand, I was married for 8 years before dating Dwight and have been completely independant for 2 years. So I am basically terrified to give up my independance, my freedom to walk out of his door and go to my house alone. I am a loner and I enjoy my alone time, and I would have to give that up. I am scared to tell him how I am really feeling, because I showed hesitation once and it really hurt him. He got all-just forget it-type attitude with me. He was like: I never put myself out there and I did and you just rejected me and that is exactly why I don't put myself out there. So I reassured him that I wasn't rejecting him.

I think about things like what happens if this doesn't work out and I sell 3/4 of my belongings to move in there and I have to find a place to live again and have to replace all those things. There are no guarantees in love and life and I dont want to jump too fast.

On the other hand, we do get along great when we are together, I'd say that 95% of our fights are over the phone. We hardly ever fight in person. Plus I love him more than anyone before.

Plus another issue that makes me uneasy is the fact that it is HIS house and I won't feel completly at home for a while. I will feel like I have to ask permission to decorate and stuff. Plus there is no room in his room for any of my clothes and I have A LOT. So that is a whole nother issue to deal with. His son has the big room, I think I have to convince him to switch rooms, which he is going to fight me on.

See what I mean, there is so much...........can I really do this? I am terrified? Is this normal?

More Jokes

2005-06-03T15:09:00.000-04:00

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
The pharmacist fainted.

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.
The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

2005-06-01T10:46:00.000-04:00

Get this headline in todays newspaper:

Police: Mom was paid for silence in daughter's rape

Fiance agreed to pay $500 every 2 weeks for 10 years in notarized deal

What the HELL kind of mother is that??

She ended up posting bail for $1,000 and the fiance is still in jail because his bail was $41,000.

What the HELL kind of system is that??

They both should of gotten the same bail, she doesn't deserve to be walking the streets any more than that pervert.

Apparently this is the story. The daughter was 15 years old. The 54 year old mother is a child social worker, she works with sexually abused and exploited children, the mother called the police to report the crime a few days ago-8 months after the rape occured. Her 38 year old live in boyfriend was charged with the rape. The mother refused to say why she is coming forward now. They continued living together for the past 8 months and became engaged in December.

How on earth could you marry a man who raped your daughter?? What the HELL was she thinking.

If she could turn on her daughter for money, who knows what she has done in the past or capable of in the future. Isn't part of being a mother protecting your children at all costs-even death if necessary. Isn't that our first priority as a mother? And to top it off she is a child social worker, working with sexually abused kids-YOUR FIRED!!!!

5/31/05

2005-05-31T16:27:00.000-04:00

Well crap, back at work today. I have compiled over 500 emails that is part of my internet income ebook today, into a spreadsheet. I can't believe I have gotten over 500 emails about his stuff. So now is the daunting task of reserching each website and seeing if I can find any good opportunities to make some real money on the net with little to no investment. I'm not looking for a get rich quick scheme, just something that actually generates income without spending a fortune to get started. So we will see. I'll let you all know of the progress. I have a prediction that my list will be up over 1,000 web sites researched before the ebook is out.

So the only drama in my life right now is Dwight, everything has been great. I went over to his house Monday night to eat as I said I was and we watched tv together and everything was wonderful, I helped cook the corn and he did the rest. As we were standing in the kitchen looking after the food, he asks"Did you miss me this weekend" So I say in my pouty voice"Yes" and he gives me a hug and kisses me on my forhead and says "I'm sorry, that will never happen again" AAAWWWW!!!! I love him so much!!!! So we eat and I get ready to go and help him clean the kitchen before I do. As he is washing the dishes he asks if he is allowed to come over and spend the night tonight, since he isn't going to go to work. I tell him, Of course. So I leave.

So, we are at my house and I dye my hair, the highlights are growing out and so I dye it to blend to my natural color and even everything out. It looks great by the way. He lays down and I tell him to elevate his leg and I will get him anything he needs.

Well everything is great again, and here is the drama-to me anyway. He says his roomate has applied for a job 2 hours away and will probablyt be moving out if he gets it. He has been waiting for his roomate to move out, so I can move in. He asked me at the begining of the year and I said yes. My dilema is, I keep regreating the day I told him yes. I have been terrified, and always think about it. I am scared of many things. I will write a pros and cons list later.... I'm going to need your help with this one!!!

5/30/05

2005-05-30T15:21:00.000-04:00

Well it is Memorial day!! The unofficial start of summer. It has been a pretty relaxing weekend. I haven't done anything eventful at all. Friday night Dwight spent the night and we had great before sleep and morning sex. I always get morning sex when he spends the night. Yea!!! And then Saturday the girls went to the Aunts house for a few hours. Then we went over to Dwights house for a little while. Then I brought them home so they could take a nap. Dwight offered on Friday night, to treat us to dinner on saturday, so I was planning to go back over and spend the night. But he decided to go out with the boys, which was cool, since he never goes out. So we didn't go back over and I ran to mcdonalds to feed the girls. Dwight did promise to take me riding on his motorcycle on sunday to make up for saturday. So I wa looking forward to that, until he called and told me he wrecked the motorcycle again!!!!

He was doing a wheelie and it went to high and he fell face first into the pavement and his bike insn't rideable. So I am wanting to kill him for doing tricks when he wrecked his bike doing the same thing a few months ago. Thanl god I bought him a $320 leather riding jacket for x-mas. The jacket is all messed up, but I'm glad it is the jacket and not his body. He at least was wearing his helmet. Well his knee and kands are messed up and swolen, but otherwise the bike looks worse than him.

I told him he better stop whiling out and chill on that bike before he kills himself, he has 2 kids and me and my 2 kids that would be devested if anything happened to him. I think he gets it. Or at least the way he was talking today to one of his boys on the phone, made me think, he finally gets it.

So he calls me on Saturday morning to tell me about the accident and then tells me he was going over to his boys house for about an hour. Mind you this was a 10:30am. So again, I'm cool with it because he never hangs out with his friend.

He didn't make it home till about 7:30pm. I spoke with him about 7 times throughout the day and each time, I told him to come home so we can chill together, while both sets of our kids are gone. I finally get over to his house and he is SLEEPING on the couch. After watching 1 show with me he falls back asleep, so I make him go into his room and go to bed and I left.

He calls me this morning, and asks me to take a ride with him about 1 1/2 hours to pick up his son. So I told him no. We hung up.

I called him back and said, "for the record I am mad at you" So I explained to him, that he blew me off for 2 days and now when he needs me I'm suspose to just jump. So he tried to defend himself and realized what he was saying was BS, so he apologized. If any of you have read this blog, you know he does NOT apologize. So yeah, I ended up going with him, because I am a good girlfriend, and I don't blow him off.

So he dropped me off back home and I wanted to get a post in before heading back over there so he can cook for me.

ps. no sex for a while, he is all busted up from the accident, what am I going to do??????? This is a nightmare come true. :-(

5/25/05

2005-05-25T12:50:00.000-04:00

Well no bosses again today. And no Laurie. And tomorrow and Friday, Jonny is out. There isnâ€™t 1 day this week we were all here.
Tomorrow the bosses come back so this is our last day to relax. Kevin has me doing payables. Then I will be the only one here that has trained for every job.

Caitlyn got her first degree yellow belt yesterday. She did really good. I was very proud of her. Soccer practice is canceled tonight, yeah!!!! Maybe I will go see Dwight.

He called me this morning at like 7:00am. I was getting ready for work. He was basically calling me to tell me he was horny and wanted sex. I was laughing. Iâ€™m like you called me, just to tell me your horney? Now Iâ€™m the one who always wants it more than him. I tell him all the time, that we do not have sex enough. 2 or 3 times a week sucks, and I want it more. He used to love having it everyday, but when I complained he said he liked it like this because it is more passionate and it is better when we wait and when we want each other a lot. Iâ€™m like, NO!! I want it more. So he left it at that. I was happy to know he was at work thinking about having sex with me, just out of the blue.

Sometimes I get insecure, because he does not ever express his feelings. I know he loves me but sometimes it just sucks not to hear it or not to be told how much or anything like that. So to know he was thinking about me sexually today was wonderful.

So maybe I will go see him and give him what he needs, what he deserves. What I want. Damn sex is so good with him, like I told him before, I could do it morning, noon and night. Just talking about him and sex makes me horny.

Well got to go to my lunch break.

5/24/05

2005-05-24T08:45:00.000-04:00

Well no bosses again, today!! But I still have a stack of stuff to do. I only got about half done yesterday, I ended up playing with bog explosion's new rocket system. Pretty cool. I ended up winning like 50 credits as well as generating traffic. I would take me all day to get credits like that. That is 100 blogs. So after surfing for the past couple of weeks, I have found layouts of other blogs, that I love. I am looking into getting some special features and a new template. If anyone knows a good site that offers these services for free, please shoot me a comment.

No jokes from my dad today, damn. The stuff he sends is usually pretty good. But he sends a lot of media files that I do not know how to upload on blogspot. I don't think they will host it. Anyone know how??

I was like 8 minutes late for work this morning. I am usually 20 minutes early. We missed the damn bus this morning. So I had to drive to the next bus stop which wasn't for like 5 miles and ended up putting me back at my house. I don't use this bus top because it would make me late for work everyday, hence the reason why I am 20 minutes early everyday. Well none of the bosses were here today, so if anyday to be late, today was a good day. I think even if they were here, they wouldn't even know if I was late.

So, there isn't much to watch on tv anymore. I caught the season finale of Medium and the 3rd part of the season finale of Extreme Home Makeover. Oh yeah and the 2nd part of the season finale of 7th Heaven.
Medium: anyone know who the guy from Texas was? The cop, Captain something? How did she know him?
Extreme Home Makeover: This was the how'd they do that show, EHM is my favorite show on TV BUT this was pretty boring. I thought that the family was definately worthy, but it just wasn't very heartwrenching to me, not like last weeks show with the cop widow and the 3 little boys, that show made me cry so much.
7th heaven: Mary is a bitch, Simon is stupid, Yeah! Lucy and Kevin are finally moving out and right behind their parents house-cool, and tons of other stuff happened, can't wait for next season. How long has this show been on the air???

So tonight is Americal Idol. It is so hard for me to pick a winner this year. In all the years past I was always certain who was going to win. I picked Fantasia right from her audition. I picked Ruben from the audition and Kelly, she was always a favorite after her big band performance. But this year, the 2 finalists are so different. It is like comparing apples to oranges. One is rock and the other is country. I like them both. Both are humble and not cocky, both seems to be gentle, good souls. Let me be the bad guy for a moment, I was thinking, How many rock singers do we know that have a 1 man show? Barely a handful. You had Elvis of course. They today there is Sting, Jon Bon Jovi, John Mellencamp and who else, I can't think of anyone else. There just isn't many. It is very hard to be a one man rock group and I definately think he is good enough to pull it off in the long run, but will it really last? On the other hand, Carrie, a country singer. There are scores of coutry women at the top of the country charts. I think she could definately have a huge country career. But she may get lost in all the women stars. I personally would benefit more from Bo's record. I don't like country and I love rock. So personally think Carrie can definately singer better, she is just so effortless, no matter what she singes, her voice is always amazing, she will become a star weither she wins or looses, BUT I think Bo will win, because he is rock and America wants to see a rocker win and rock is more mainstream and he is really really good, the acapella was amazing. But for the record, Carrie can sing better-technically.

Tonight is Caitlyns Karate Belt Test, she is going for her orange belt. It starts at 6pm at the school in the gym. I hope she does well, she has been one of the best in the class all year. She did have training already so she didn't have to learn the form, just the moves in sequence. Soccer ends soon to. I got to find something for these kids to do all summer.

Well that is about all. I have to get back to work and do a little rocket on web explosion. Check you out later.

5/23/05

2005-05-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

Well all of the bosses are gone again. But I am pretty busy. I cannot believe it is 3:30 already. I have lots to do, but I had to find time to write a little.

So Star Wars results are in..........158.5 million from Thursday to Sunday. Shattering the 3 AND 4 day opening records. What did I tell you. What did I predict? I think I predicted a weekend total of 140 million. Wow!! I was blown away. The record was 115 with Spiderman's 4 day weekend. OMG!!! It did shatter it, didn't it. So for all of you haters out there........STAR WARS ROCKS!!!!!!

I have a joke for y'all my dad sent me. He used to send them all the time and then stopped, so I told him to send them again, so I can post them.

Dead Private Parts
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad." Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas." "But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy. "Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."

Well I made my appointment today for my initial consult for getting my tubes tied. Dwight got all stupid about it. He was like, What about our daughter? I'm like what daughter, I thought we discussed this. I'm not having another kid, especially not being married and what not. Look, I have no ring on my finger that will make me rethink this, and I don't want a ring on my finger. And you don't want to put one on me. I thought we were all good with this. Stop screwing with me. Then he askes, if he did put a ring on my finger, would things be different, and I think maybe they would be, but I'm not getting married again, not anytime soon anyway. Well, then I talked to him at lunch and told him the appointment date and time and he was all like, good for you, I don't want to hear about it, all nasty. I have a feeling this isn't going to go well.

My Job

2005-05-20T16:11:00.000-04:00

Well I promised to start writing about some more appealing subjects besides my normal posts of how my previous day went and what I watched on TV. I asked Dwight to give me some topics but he came up blank, well he actually had one suggestion. To write about our baby issue and me getting my tubes tied and that whole deal. I told him I already wrote about it. He was like huh? You canâ€™t be writing that kind of stuff, I donâ€™t want my business all over the internet!! I was like, look it is anonymous and itâ€™s not like anyone I know reads it anyway. This is my diary- I wonâ€™t give anyone I know the URL. This is a place I can talk shit about people when they get on my nerves-I donâ€™t want to offend anyone or hurt anyoneâ€™s feelings and at the same time I want to be completely free to write how I really feel. So even though strangers read my posts- you are essentially the only ones who know what really is going on in my brain-kind of ironic huh?

So Lets seeâ€¦â€¦.lets start with my job.

So I moved to Delaware about 4 years ago and when I first moved here, it was really hard to find a job. A good one that is. I worked at a gas station 3rd shift for a few months because I couldnâ€™t find anything else, and I needed money bad. Then I couldnâ€™t stand that anymore so I quit and finally found a secretary job. I worked there for a while till I couldnâ€™t take that anymore either. Then I worked temp jobs because they were paying 18.00 an hour. I did the temp thing for the next 3 years. I got tired of that too, even though I loved the money. It sucked every time an assignment ended to have to worry how long I was going to be out of work until they found me another assignment. So I finally started looking for permanent employment. Over the 3 years of temping I had some really good companies on my resume, I have an associates degree in Computer Information Systems and have some financial background. So I got the job where I am at now and I make 32,000 a year. With an extra 7,500 in child support and my tax return is usually 5,000. So you add that together and I am looking at 45,000 a year. Wow, I make more than either of my parents ever have, and I am only 27 so things are only going to go up from here. I like where I am at now. It is a very small company. Well not that small, but the office staff is small. We are a pallet company, we are a recycle center, we repair and sell back repairs and we are also like a pallet broker, where we find the customer and the mill and charge more than the mill and make the profit. We have over 5 million in profit each year. We have about 60 recycle center workers, 5 sales persons, and 5 office workers. I have direct contact with the owner on a daily basis and work very closely with the CFO. I am not sure what my official title is, but I do a lot of auditing and financial spreadsheets and I also handle all of the accounts receivable. All of the office workers collectively answer the phone, but I no longer am someoneâ€™s assistant. I have been doing that for a couple of years and hated it, I kind of felt degraded because I knew my skills were much higher than that.

So I started here on March 7th. I can get benefits on June 7th, really soon. We donâ€™t have anything great because we are pretty small, but medical and dental and time off. I get 5 days vacation and 5 sick days in my first year. I actually have already used some of this time, The insurance is paid 75% by them, so that seems pretty good. But it sucks there is no kind of 401k or pension or profit sharing or life insurance. I opened an account an ING to save on my own at 3%, it is taxed but oh well. I love the fact that this is a small company, I feel more important than in a huge corporation like Dupont. I work 8-5 with an hour for lunch. I usually go home for that hour and either take a nap for 40 minutes or watch TV or do chores

I have more flexibility here too. That reminds me I have to email my boss about time off needed.

Well now for the people I work with. First is the owner, his name is Bob. He is a 40 something tall guy, good looking for his age I guess. He is married with 2 kids I think. He is in the office like 7 days of 20 a month. He averages like 2 days a week since I have been here. He is on vacation the rest of the time. He has a yacht and is in the Florida keys all the time. He does work from the boat via his blackberry and laptop, and makes sure we all are on track doing our job. His office is like 20 feet from me. Next is my immediate supervisor, Kevin. He is the CFO. He is also married with 1 or 2 kids. I work very closely with him, doing audits on inventory, general ledger accounts and whatnot. He is also 40 something. He reminds me of my dad a lot!! He is short like my dad, his hair is just like my dadâ€™s, built like my dad, a sense of humor just like my dad, and swears like a sailor just like my dad. He is hilarious, when we sit together and work, he has me laughing the whole time, making fun of people in the office. His office is way in the back of the building, I hardly ever see him, unless I go back there. That is it for people above me. So you see, the work environment is very lax, I donâ€™t have someone watching over my shoulder 24-7. Which allows me time to blog when I am out of things to do. Some times I can blog all day. Sometimes I fell like I am getting paid to blog.

So for the people working around me. I have 4 people who work around me. First, the closest, is Jonny. She does accounts payable, payroll, benefits and general office management stuff like order office supplies. She is a large women who laughs like aâ€¦â€¦I donâ€™t know, all I know is it is the most annoying laugh I ever heard, and so loud, so canâ€™t escape it. I know, it is like a hyena. Well she has been here the longest and is in her late forties, so she is the oldest. Because of these 2 factors, and the fact that she is a miserable bitch, she thinks she can tell everyone here what to do and how and when to do it. She tried it on me, and I put her in her place. She leaves me alone now and we only communicate when it is work related. She got pissed at me for reading the newspaper and was like â€œAs a co-worker, it pisses me off that I am working as you sit there and read the fucking paper, the least you could do is answer the god damn phone.â€� And Iâ€™m like, â€œLook every time I try to answer the phone, you already have it, it is not like it is ringing more than once and I am ignoring it, stop answering it first and I will get it, and by the way I come in 20 minutes early everyday, if I want to take 10 minutes to read the paper, than I have every right.â€� She is like, â€œThat doesnâ€™t matterâ€� And Iâ€™m like, â€œthe hell it doesnâ€™t, I donâ€™t get paid to be here 20 minutes early everyday, so Iâ€™m going to take 10 minutes to read the paper, get over it.â€� Well the whole thing was heard by the owner and he didnâ€™t say anything to me. I did tell Kevin about it and he told me not to worry about her, that she acts that way to everybody. I told him, I donâ€™t mind being told what to do by him or Bob, but I refuse to be TOLD what to do, or especially be swore at by co-workers. I think the swearing is what pissed me off the most. She is not married and never has been and has no kids. She does have a live-in boyfriend. But he is smart enough not to marry her and she was smart enough not to procreate.

Next is Vanessa, She is cool as shit. She does all the invoicing. She and I get along the best I think. She is my age, I think a year younger than me. Her and I are the only ones with a college degree. We both have 2 little girls. She just started seeing someone. I think we have a lot in common and we are close in age, so we get along great. We talk to each other about our drama and about shit in general. She sits about 10 feet from me. I have nothing bad to say about her.

So next is Laurie, she is pretty cool. I think she is in her late thirties. When I first met her, she was wearing a glove on one hand in the middle of the day at the office. So I thought that was pretty weird, but then I found out she has Lupus and it apparently makes just her one hand cold. She is usually the first one here in the morning, and handles inputting all the sales orders into the computer and getting the orders to the mill and the recycle center manager. So she is very busy. She is married and has 2 kids, 1 of which she shares custody with her x-husband. She can get bitchy sometimes, but all around is pretty cool.

Then there is Greg and Bill. Bill is the salesperson for this area and Greg is the recycle center Manager. I really donâ€™t work with them at all. Bill is on the road sometimes and I really never see Greg unless it involves getting inventory numbers.

Thatâ€™s the gang. Then we have like 60 recycle center employees (all illegal Mexicans) that work outside in the plant, and I see them when I go outside to smoke, but never have anything to do with them.

So that is my job.

How much are you worth?

2005-05-20T11:04:00.000-04:00

I am worth $1,609,192 on HumanForSale.com

5/20/05

2005-05-20T10:11:00.000-04:00

Yes!! The series Finale of the Apprentice was on last night. They didnâ€™t have a long drawn out affair like last season. The last one was 3 hours long, this one was 1 hour. Much better!!

So, if you havenâ€™t heard yet, my girl won!!!! Go Kendra!!!!

I am such a good predictor or these reality show winners.

Yes!! The Series Finale of Americas Next Top Model was on Wednesday night. Keenya finally got kicked off about half way thru the show and it was down to Naiema and Kayleen. I hoped it was between these 2 and it was and I hoped Naiema would win and SHE DID!!!!!

I love her. She deserved it so much.

My reality shows are dwindling down, I donâ€™t have much left to watch. Lets seeâ€¦..The Contender has like 2 episode left. Americas Next Top Model is Over, Survivor is over, The Apprentice is over, The Amazing Race is over. American Idol has 1 show left. OMG I have only 2 reality shows left and they are almost over too!!!!

My regular shows are dwindling down too. Lets seeâ€¦..Desperate Housewives has 1 show left. Extreme Home Makeover, not sure. Lost has 1 or 2 more shows left. Medium should be wrapping up soon. Supernanny is over, and scores of other fall episodes are all ending or already ended. I pray these networks have something in store for the summer season, something good, because I havenâ€™t seen anything great being advertised yet.

Wow, the revelation on top of Star Wars ending, I am going to get sad. I have got to find something to watch this summer. I admit from 8 till 11 is my TV, relax and unwind, ME time. I will be going to sleep at 8pm every night if nothing comes on. Damn it!!!! See now I am starting to panic. I got to go now, need to do some internet searches to find some summer programming.

2005-05-20T09:37:00.000-04:00

Star Wars