I got a comment

Girl, after reading some of your blogs about your b/f, you need to sit down with yourself and ask yourself some Serious questions! This guy just doesn't sound like he is the right one for you. It seems the relationship is unbalanced and that you are the one carrying it. Do you want to be remarried? Life is too short to spend with someone who doesn't feel the same about you..trust me..I got rid of someone like that once in my life, it was for 3 years going off and on...was the best thing I have done for myself ;-)

From Speedgrl.

Now I'm not sure if I know this person or not, but I thought I needed to clarify things.

As I was reading over my blog after getting this email I realized I do paint a pretty grim picture of my boyfriend. What you have to understand is that you are only getting one side of it. You are hearing my rantings and ravings and I don't write about my praises. That is entirely my fault. He is a great guy, who treats me well and I cannot see being with anyone else. He is the love of my life. The parts you are hearing are our fights and nothing else, so yeah it sounds like a nightmare. But we have way more good days than bad. Alot of our issues have to do with our personailties being so alike, we both want the last word, we both are completely independant, we both want and need our own space, and we both think we are right all the time, and we are both very stubborn.

After that really long email I wrote him, we did sit down and talk. We realized that we are "in a way" playing games with each other. When I feel he isn't emotionally there, then I pull away, so then he does and then I do, and it just spirals out of control and we got to the point that he thought I didn't love him or wasn't happy and he thought I didn't want him anymore. And I felt the complete opposite. Again, this all happened because we are so much alike and both responded to the situation exactly the same way. He told me he was very hurt by the email and felt horrible. Things are much better now. He and I are making much more of an effort to spend time together and not play games and communicate our feelings, we now tell each other we love each other every day.

It came down to both of us not wanting to be vulnerable, but we realized that it is just hurting the other person by being so closed, so we are working on opening up. This really has nothing to do with the other person, it is sort of a personal struggle we are both going thru at the same time, luckily we have each other to do it with and we understand each other.

Now don't get me wrong, he knows he isn't a very good boyfriend(romantic and thoughtful), he can admit it(and is making great strides in improving), but I love him in spite of that and accept him for his faults, as he accepts me for mine. THAT my friends is TRUE love.

So speedgrl and you other readers out there, thanks for your comments they are greatly appreciated, but things are ok, I promise.